In a true example of the old saying, “be careful what you wish for,” an elderly Ohio woman has been accused of fatally shooting a man in the groin, which is hard to type without clenching up and making a face, but I digress. What makes this story uncomfortably strange, yes, aside from the junk shot, is the incident allegedly occurred while she was joking with the victim and he requested she take the shot. I haven’t had nearly enough coffee for this story, but I’ll try to push forward. 

The shooting took place at an apartment building in Cincinnati, Ohio, on October 20. Seventy-seven-year-old Kathleen Geiger is accused of shooting Arthur Osborne, 58, once in the groin and has been charged with recklessly causing Osborne’s death according to a Hamilton County Municipal Court affidavit.

At first glance, this seems like a terrible tragedy, and it is, but peeling back the layers on this one, there are some elementary lessons to be learned here and some well-deserved mockery, which I will get to.  

According to Geiger, she and the victim “were engaged in harmless banter when he jokingly requested she shoot him…The defendant, believing her firearm was empty, pointed the weapon at Osborne and pulled the trigger,” police wrote in the sworn statement.

Geiger ultimately called 911 and tried to provide aid, which I’m sure you guys with a sense of humor will have some fun with. Unfortunately, the damage was done, and with the most basic of gun-handling directives disregarded, Arthur Osborne was pronounced dead at the scene. 

FOX19 NOW legal advisor Mark Krumbein says that Geiger calling 911 and trying to provide aid could be positive for her case.

“I think that’s a positive for her that she stayed there, tried to provide aid, called 911, and cooperated with the police, apparently, because they have her statement…So, I would say that those are all positives for her,” Krumbein explained. 

Cincinnati police took Geiger into custody and transported her to the Hamilton County jail where she was held overnight without bond until a brief hearing Monday morning.  

At the arraignment, prosecutors stated that her not believing the gun was loaded was “no excuse,” a sentiment I think all responsible gun owners will agree with. 

“Everyone who possesses a firearm has a responsibility to do it responsibly. You never point a firearm at anything and pull the trigger unless you intend to destroy it. The defendant pointed a firearm at someone and pulled the trigger, resulting in their death,” one prosecutor said.

The case goes before a grand jury for possible indictment on October 31st. A grand jury could elect to proceed with a more serious charge like murder or a lesser charge like negligent homicide, according to Krumbein.

A judge ordered Geiger to be held on $10,000 bond.

I feel like now would be a great time to play the role of Captain Obvious because, while law-abiding responsible gun owners have these rules engrained in their frontal lobe, it is obvious that there are people out there who can’t understand a few simple rules. 

1. Treat every gun as if it is loaded. You’re sure it’s unloaded, you say? It’s still loaded! Treat firearms with respect. My fiance noticed a pattern early on when we visited gun stores. The guy behind the counter would check the chamber of a gun before handing me a gun to look at. Once in my hands, I checked it as well. Before handing it back, I checked again. Upon receiving it back, the employee checked it one last time before putting it back on the display. If this seems like a bit of a redundant ritual, it is, but it is a ritual that ensures accidents like this don’t occur, so live it!

2. Keep your gun pointed in a safe direction. Again, obvious. Come on. You never point a gun at anything you do not intend to destroy. How hard is this? It’s not a game. It certainly isn’t a joke. People who point guns at others are not going to find any compassion from me. Full stop. This is stupid and it really works me up because it is so incredibly easy to avoid tragedy and yet people still don’t take it seriously. 

3. Keep your finger off the trigger until you are ready to fire. Sure, seems simple enough, but when you’ve already obliterated rules 1 and 2, well, you see where this is going. 

4. Be certain of your target and what is beyond it. 

Morons and guns don’t mix. Joking around with guns is not funny. Sure, asking someone to shoot you in the jewels is completely devoid of reason, but actually doing it makes you the big winner of my idiot with a gun award.